You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
