i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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