I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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