Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I forget how to act sober
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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