I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
