Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
sex in a hospital.. check
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Two words: nipple clamps
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