I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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