based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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