She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
