No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
