we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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