I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
