I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
