This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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