I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
