the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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