Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
