also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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