Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
