i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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