Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
