Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
