Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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