with your own penis?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
