I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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