You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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