First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
