Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
why do cheetos always look like penises
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
