Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
