come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
