I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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