i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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