just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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