I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Let's paint friendship bongs
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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