just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize