you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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