I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
