I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
