i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize