no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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