Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
