That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
