Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
