I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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