So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
