I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
