Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
