Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
