; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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