I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
