i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
