Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
