stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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