I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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