If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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