I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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