I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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