Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
