I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
