moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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