careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
