so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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